I feel like I owe someone a post. But, I don’t want to write just for the sake of writing. That’s my other blog. But, neither do I want you to think I don’t care about you all.
Being a doula is something I always never knew I wanted to be.
I have known FOREVER that I want to teach. I have taught in public schools, Montessori, a small Christian school, Vacation Bible School, homeschool, childbirth classes… you get the picture. But, until I had children and started teaching Lamaze I had no idea I wanted to be a doula.
The first birth I ever attended was not my own. We had a young lady living with our family during a crisis pregnancy. She was quite sweet, fairly shy and had some tough things to deal with. So, when it came time to go to her childbirth classes and her partner wouldn’t go with her she decided not to go. Part of my (volunteer) job was to help her meet goals she/we had established as she progressed through her pregnancy. So, I finally asked why she didn’t want to attend and she said she didn’t want to be the only one alone in the classes. Well, DUH! Why hadn’t I thought of that? So, I suggested I accompany her and so began this lovely journey I am on.
We attended classes, and while some helpful information was disseminated, I often called this the “How to be a good patient” class. And, these classes are what most women in our town attended. A few years later when Dear and I were blessed with our first pregnancy I regretfully signed up for these classes, but with a bit of hope that perhaps they had changed. Well, it didn’t actually matter because I gave birth on the second day of classes, so I never learned what they had to teach.
Our second pregnancy found me OBSESSED with the idea of being PREPARED and being PREPARED EARLY since Senior Son had arrived 6 weeks early and things were heading down the same path for Young Man. I found Lamaze classes in our town, taught by a sweet southern Mississippian who just loved on her pregnant mommies. I talked her into getting me into an earlier class, just in case, which was a good idea, as Young Man also made an early appearance, just not as early as Senior Son. Whew! Let me catch my breath after that run on sentence!
Our second birth, almost at home or in the car, happened very rapidly, a mere 13 minutes after arriving at the front door of the hospital. But, through all the early labor at home (2 months), transitional labor (home and car) and trying to NOT have the baby in the lobby, I found that, indeed, breathing and positioning, knowledge and support all helped me. And, voila, I was into my next phase of teaching… Lamaze classes, headed down the road to something… perhaps midwifery.
Many prayers, hours of reading, miles of travel and tests, papers and lesson plans later, I knew that while I loved teaching childbirth classes, and I really LOVED attending births I was NOT called to be a midwife, but a doula. Where I was gifted was in helping the family, not in catching the baby nor making medical decisions. And, in that manner I have supported laboring women in our town for the past 22 years, if you count that first birth that started it all. Now, all these years later I am studying to obtain my certification.
Recently someone asked why I was spending all that time getting a piece of paper. I answered, “Because once I have that little piece of paper the people in the hospital will be a bit more willing to work with me, but more importantly let me have a bit of autonomy in the room so that we can allow/help the birthing mother to truly have the birth she desires if at all possible.”
And, that’s how I got here. So, I am a bit over 1/3 of the way through my reading, I have written approximately 1/5 of my one major paper. I have been reading supplemental books to add to my knowledge and should have my first “write up” birth (one that happens during my training) in November. What I really need is another birth! Anyone up for a doula?
Seriously, part of what I will be learning is how to find clients. And, I hope part of what I learn will be how to balance client needs with my family’s needs. Other than that? Piece of cake. Okay, not quite that easy, but I hope to complete this within the year.
Happy Birthing,Kim
p.s. if you or anyone you know needs a doula, just leave a comment and I’ll be happy to help you find one.
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