Writing a Birth Story

This is another advantage to having a doula. At least a doula who is a bit more timely than I have been with the last three births!

A birth story is a written record of the birth of your baby. It may include technicalities of what went on, snippets of conversation, a comment on the day/weather/time, how this birth helped the parents to grow/change/become and anything else the doula may find interesting or relevant.

While the birthing family can write their own birth story they are often so emotionally involved that it may be hard for them to recall all the details. A doula is most likely keeping notes and will be able, hopefully within a couple of weeks, to generate a birth story. At this point the birthing family may keep this story, add to it, write their own instead . I have seen birth stories written where everyone put his/her own comments in and the result was incredible.

While my last three birth stories were much delayed (sorry ladies) the writing of these taught me a lot. In the case of my more recent birth stories I am including anecdotes which show how God works through this time in each family’s life.

You know how it is, you get two or three mothers in a group and soon the birth stories come trotting out. How nice to know that you have your very own written copy to revisit and ponder.

Happy Birthing,
Kim

More on the Birth Story...

Having just finished writing 3 birth stories (all well past due!), I am in the birth story writing mode. And, having just given advice, along with receiving the same, on how/what to write I thought I would share it here.

• Decide WHY the birth story is being written. For many of my clients this is a time to see God at work in their life. This is a time of testing, pain, vulnerability, faith… how does this all fit together. I include my own thoughts as well… often referring to creation, running the race, come to me all those who are heavy laden… you get the picture.
• Make this personal. Include the season, weather, time of day and what you were doing when you got the call to come, or how you felt to be asked to be the doula.
• Share anecdotes: what songs did you sing, verses did you read, books did you share, jokes you told?
• talk about the prayers and how they were answered
• talk about the pain/pressure/discomfort and how it was dealt with: scripture, positions, breathing, birthing pool, use of light, etc.
• talk about the personalities present to help flesh out the setting
• talk about how decisions were made
• contraction patterns throughout
• when does labor start? bag of waters break? baby arrive?
• what is learned about the laboring couple?

TAKE NOTES! Obviously when I write a story 6, 12 or 18 months late notes would have REALLY helped. But, even if you are writing the story the next day it helps to have notes to which you may refer. You don’t have to have pages written, simply things to jog your mind. When I first started I divided my paper into sections: The call, early labor, active labor, transition, delivery, meds, other. This helped put things in their proper time order. Again, you don’t want to be so busy writing that you miss out on being a doula… Ask the couple what they remember about the birth. Ask them if they want to help write the story. Don’t be afraid to offer the story and then to do several more drafts.

Enjoy the process. I can look back and read the stories of the couples I helped and it gives me great satisfaction and also helps me to learn how to be a better doula.

Happy Birthing!Kim